2006-05-23

Shalom Outside The Home

1997 -- The Brooklyn, N.Y., organization Shalom Bayis ("Household Peace" in Hebrew) closed down its 24-hour mistress hotline in January after an unfavorable New York Daily News story. A Shalom Bayis spokesman said the hotline's purpose was to place its 40 volunteer mistresses with unsatisfied husbands in order to stop the "plague of divorce" menacing Jewish couples. Although Shalom Bayis claimed to take no fee for its services, it did admit that after the Daily News story, most of the hotline callers were single men and happily married men who just wanted sex.

2006-05-17

Dream

Ok, so I parked my white Ford Ranger pickup truck on the airplane and hid my pet cat and mouse that I had snuck on board in a cat carrier then covered it with a red blanket and stored it at the back of the airplane, behind all of the other parked cars. Then we left and went for a walk through a park. Then , looking up, I see the island of Manhattan (which is frozen) floating about our heads then floating away. I look at Dave and say "I hope you've got all you Pink Floyd albums." "Yeah, good thing too" he replies. On the walk through the park back to the airplane, the cat I snuck aboard appears in front of me; she had escaped from the plane. I tkae her back to the hidden cat carrier on the plane and find another cat, a few mice and a couple of rats were sleeping in the carrier. I dug out my little gray mouse and stuck my cat and my mouse in my pocket.
Then I woke up.

2006-05-15

"Congressman Fucks Own Wife Out Of Political Necessity"

WASHINGTON, DCSeeking reelection in 2008, Rep. Lloyd Doggett (D-TX) will limit himself to sexual activity with his wife, Libby. "I love my wife and would never do anything that would weaken our sacred bond of marriage, or reduce my constituents' faith in me," said Doggett, who faces fierce competition in the next election due to recent redistricting. "Libby's been right at my side, and instrumental in my political career, through all our years of marriage." Seeing no possible negative ramifications, Doggett allows himself to jerk off while thinking about Naomi Watts.

*The Onion

Drink Apple Juice

Because O.J. will kill you.

2006-05-07

Reason #4,892 I moved.

"1996 -- Nashville, Tenn., police were called to a Laundromat in January after a customer reported that a man had come in from the rain, soaking wet, put a few coins in a dryer, climbed in and was getting tumble-dried."


Several More Reasons